If you’re a runner then you’ve probably had an injury (or 10!).
Research by Sports Medicine Australia showed that up to 70% of runners will sustain an overuse injury during a 12 month period.
Now most of these injuries are just what you’d expect from a sport that requires constant pounding on the legs; knee pain, ITB syndrome, the dreaded plantar fasciitis.
But what about the other injuries that runners experience; the ones that don’t require crutches, MRIs and, quite frankly, are so mortifyingly embarrassing that you don’t really want to tell anyone why you’re missing your Tuesday morning group run. These are the injuries that make you walk like you’ve been riding horses bareback for a week and unable to sit in a lady like manner. There’s no sympathy cards or casseroles left on your doorstep; just a silent pain that you can’t share on your Insta stories.
Well I’m here today to shine a light on those ‘less than ideal’ injuries (well maybe not an actual light…no one needs to see that!) and other running associated nasties so no Mum runner has to suffer alone. Read on…..
Piles from sitting on Tiles, Bubblegum Butt, Wind Chimes
However you say it Hemorrhoids are no laughing matter. After having 3 kids (2 the size of toddlers) it’s safe to say that it’s not just my abdominal muscles that are weaker than when I was pre babies.
It was the day after an ultra trail race that I noticed that I couldn’t sit down. There had been 8 hours of hills and trails in the heat and now I felt like I had sat on one of the kids marbles…and not one of the Pee Wee sized ones! After a covert trip to the pharmacy and borrowing Grandmas donut pillow, it was a long and uncomfortable car ride home. This was then followed by an awkward conversation with my coach, discreetly trying to explain why I needed a few days off hill repeats without having to say the H word.
After exposing my behind to both the Dr and the Surgeon I learned that I did not need surgery (yet), but should eagerly await the next time it happens. Yay…not!
Haemorrhoids; they’re a pain in the butt. LITERALLY
Why I only wear black pants
My name is Lisa and sometimes I wee a little when I run down hills.
The first time it happened I was on a group training run in the mountains with a lovely group of strangers. I was running with a bunch of fast guys and was trying to keep up with them on a long and steep descent…and I was wearing grey pants. Rookie mistake. When I got to the bottom, I noticed that I had awkwardly wet my pants and made a quick dash to the toilets to splash the rest of me with water to hide my accident.
It wasn’t the first time, nor the last, but thanks to black pants and some keagle exercises I can now run down hills with a bit more poise.
The post run shower torture
I have many running related scars. They’re not from falls or surgeries, but from bras clasps, side boob and thunder thighs. Chaffing scars are the real wounds of running.
I may never win a race but I’m sure to win the chaffing award. And my prize; the most painful post run shower ever and an inability to wear skinny leg jeans for the foreseeable future.
One of my worst chafing experiences came after a long run on a very hot day whilst wearing my hydration pack. My tuckshop lady arms were rubbing against the sides of my pack which was having a friction battle of its own with my ample side boob. After 2 hours I was running with my elbows out like I was getting ready to fight for cheap shoes at the Boxing Day sales, and by hour 3 the pain was so unbearable that I was forced to stop. I had managed to give myself the equivalent of a 2nd degree burn on the inner sides of both my upper arms and spent the rest of the week with my arms in a Chicken Dance pose.
Then there was the time I wore ill fitting shorts…but I don’t think we know each other well enough yet to share that story!
Be warned. If you ever join me for a run you may find yourself winding down the windows. Running makes me fart. Be it the aforementioned pelvic floor issues, the undulating trails or the side effects of carb loading, it’s an classical orchestra of wind instruments.
And it’s not just farting that runners have to contend with. Emergency poo stops can be frantic, painful and can leave you getting way more in touch with nature then you ever intended. Be sure to always carry toilet paper as leaves can make 1ply feel like cashmere!
So Mum runners, there you have it. Not all running injuries and health issues come with a cast or can be treated with Rock Tape. Some of them are just plain icky, embarrassing to talk about and annoying. But does it stop us? Hell no!
Now excuse me as I apply chaffing balm to my entire body, avoid all fibre before a long run, pack my donut pillow into my drop bag and go out and order every length of black leggings available so I can ‘enjoy’ this sport of running.
Lisa is a Mum to 3 kids, a Chiropractor, a healthy recipe developer and ambitious Trail Runner with the 100kms at the Surf Coast Century in her sights to celebrate her 40thBirthday this September.
She is also the proud owner of 4 pairs of black leggings, a tube of hemorrhoid cream and multiple bottles of squirrels nut butter.